when you know, you know.

there came a certain time when i knew i was supposed to marry dawson. it's definitely not something that just hit me one day, or some revelation i prayed for and got like BAM...but over a course of time, the more time we spent together, the more i knew i wanted to marry him.

this crazy husband of mine wanted kids pretty fast. i was the one to drag my feet more because i thought it would be best for me to finish school and get my RN before throwing a baby into our crazy lives. he decided to give me the time i needed and didn't press the issue. however, i knew since it was something he wanted it was something i should at least pray about and thoughtfully consider. there came a point last summer when i could not stop thinking about having a baby. i've always loved kids and wanted kids, but this was different. it was something that was always running through my head. all the time spent with our nieces and nephews didn't help the matter much either! 

one evening in st george, we went out to dinner, and i blurted out, "should we start trying to get pregnant?" i'll never forget the look on my husband's face! i finally admitted to him (and to myself) that i couldn't stop thinking about having kids and that i had a strong feeling we should start trying. as we discussed it, the feeling got stronger for both of us. this was another "when you know, you know" moment for me. we decided that if we started trying right away for a few months, we would be able to time it so we'd have the baby in the summer, on my break from school. if we weren't able to get pregnant within that window of time, we would stop trying for a few months and start again, that way we'd have the baby after i finished the RN program.

well, it took a couple months, but here i am now 37 weeks pregnant and about to have our first baby. the timing worked beautifully for us and i'm feeling very blessed as we're getting ready to meet our baby girl.

at the beginning of the pregnancy i was sick and really worried about surviving school and work. i remember one very early morning of 5 AM i was in the bathroom of the hospital throwing up and weary of the long day ahead of me. before walking out, i found a note in my scrubs pocket from my husband telling me how good of a mom i was going to be and how excited he was for our next adventure together. this little note gave me so much strength. another day at clinicals, a couple of the nurses i was working with randomly started talking about the difficulties of pregnancy (having no idea i was pregnant) and one of them made the comment, "but you just do what you gotta do when you know these little ones need to get here." that comment hit me hard and i've tried to remember that.

i've really seen the Grace of God in our lives these past nine months. Grace is "the divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ...through the grace of the Lord...individuals, through faith...receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means." (The Bible Dictionary). i know i've had so much help from the Lord with the tasks i've had at hand since being pregnant.

for the record...i didn't feel sick at all after the first trimester. other than feeling tired and backaches, i've had it pretty dang good since!

my view from above these days...baby belly and swollen feet. and a puppy nose.

daws and i celebrated two years of marriage on memorial day. time flies when you're having fun! we of course went to st george for the weekend.

when we went to the doctor's last week, he told us i was dilated to a 2 and 80% effaced, the baby would probably come earlier than the due date. well we were surprised! this being our first baby, we weren't even sure what to expect next. let's just say we were both a little anxious last week after the appointment. i was having some regular contractions one night...and i seriously thought i needed to get up and start packing to go to the hospital. they got further apart and stopped so we didn't, but we were pretty much living in fear last week, ha!

today was the 37 week appointment and besides the baby dropping some more, everything pretty much is the same as a week ago. the good thing is that since we were a little panicked before, we finished the nursery, packed bags, and got the car seat in the car over the weekend. now i'm feeling much more at ease since not much has even progressed in a week. at least now we have things pretty much ready in case i did happen to go into labor.

as excited as i am to meet this little girl, i am fine with her hanging out in there a little longer right now. i want her to be ready to take on this world, and plus, taking care of her won't be as straightforward once she's out.

anniversary in snow canyon! as new and scary as this whole "becoming a parent" thing is, i'm so happy to be doing it with my best friend! baby girl is going to have the best father in the world!

-mrs. lake