there is a kiwi-sized person in my uterus.

so...i know i left this blog for dry a few months ago when i was back in school and life got crazy. and although i love blogging and want to do better at it, i'm not promising any consistency here. but my finals are over, and here i am at home with nothing to do but wrap Christmas presents and read "The Hobbit", and i just really felt like blogging.

and boy, do i have something to blog about!

we're having a baby!

8 week ultrasound

12 week ultrasound...baby was jumping around and squirming like crazy in there. it looks like baby is sucking its thumb in this picture, but my husband says he's flexing or fist pumping. we were also able to listen to the heartbeat which was awesome!

telling our families was really fun. we told each family at our thanksgiving dinners by putting this binky in the food for our moms to find!

we are at 13 weeks this week...almost done with the first trimester! so happy! i've been sick with a very picky appetite. the few things i always want is cheese, milk, and pizza. we went to the spaghetti factory last week and i felt like i had died and gone to heaven with the browned butter & mizithra cheese. mmmm! 

early morning clinical was rough for me this last semester and i was praising the heavens when we finished! i'm hoping to be feeling better by the time school starts back up in january. and i honestly think i have been feeling better, except that i ate half a tub of popcorn at the movies the other night and came home and lost all of it...soo no more half tubs of popcorn for me.

sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that? being a little obscene of a person along with nursing school and working as a cna, i'm a little too comfortable talking about bodily functions. i'll try to resist doing that on the world wide web. trust me there are a lot of weird pregnancy happenings going on around here...but i suppose we don't need to talk about them.

one thing i DO want to talk about is my baby daddy. i have always known i married a good person but since being pregnant, he has surprised me more and more with what an amazing husband he is. he works 40+ hours a week, goes to school full time, and comes home to an ornery or emotional pregnant lady who might be crying because she doesn't know what to cook for dinner and she is just so tired right now! haha poor guy, but he is completely patient and loving to me all the time, and never stops serving me. i have come home from work to him cleaning the house on his only day off. the other day he had a full day of work and two finals to take and he woke up early and made me breakfast. he makes most of the meals around here, we'd seriously starve without him. he has a heart of gold and i am one lucky lady to call him mine. this kiwi is equally lucky to have such a good daddy.

we spent a few days cleaning out our junk room office so it can be a nursery. i'm excited to fill it with baby items! we've been very blessed the past few weeks to be able to spend a lot of time with family and friends, even with how crazy busy things have been around here. we seriously have the best support system in the world! i am very lucky that with school, work, events, and baby preparation that i have been able to feel the spirit of Christmas & the love of God. i've been overwhelmingly grateful lately!

i hope everyone has wonderful holidays! i might be back for some baby updates...

-misses lake

50 years!

every year my dad's family goes to bear lake to camp for a family reunion. this year marked the 50th year of this tradition! the group that goes is called ALMGO - annie lane memorial geneological organization, in memory of my great-great grandmother. i am so grateful for this trip every year and for my AMAZING family! this beautiful lake is heaven on earth for me.

since i have been feeling so grateful for my family and this tradition, i took the opportunity last week to get to know my ancestors a little better. my great-great grandma annie rowe lane and my great grandma mildred lane kendall were the first two saints baptized in maine. they are two amazing and faithful women and i loved reading about them and their families, learning more about the events in their life and feeling of their personalities through the way they wrote.

i don't think we realize how much our ancestors have influenced the way our lives are now and the way we are who we are today. we owe so much to our ancestors!

-misses lake

proud to be an American.

I am so grateful for an amazing family who we're able to spend so much time with, and friends who will always be there for us. I'm so happy to live in a beautiful country where I am free to choose how I want to live my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to work, become educated, do the things I love, and have a family. I am so grateful for those who have fought and sacrificed so i could enjoy these freedoms! I am so grateful for a merciful God whose hand is always in my life! God bless America!

me and my sister [in law]

-misses lake

How Great Thou Art!

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,

Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.

When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;

That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.

Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,

And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art

"The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."

-Alma 30:44, The Book of Mormon

i am feeling extremely blessed today.

-misses lake

get a free book of mormon here.

sky high.

jude sure loves him:

play it! seriously, play the song:

the ideal kandis and dawson date: eating chick-fil-a, seeing ben folds five in concert, getting midnight cheese fries, and cuddling with our puppies.

yes, we eat a lot.

this morning:

i'm so glad to have two furry children who are always up for a good time

& to be married to a guy with a great taste in music (also always up for a good time)

& to live in a state where my back yard can always be an adventure.

-misses lake

far above rubies.

let's be honest, as girls we get way caught up in our looks. i don't care who you are, every girl has at least small moments of being overly concerned about how she looks. 

this was included in a text from my husband yesterday:

10 ¶Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Old Testament, Proverbs, Chapter 31)

reminded me a little of this quote by marjorie pay hinckley:

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” 

I love it! :)

-misses lake

tim mcgraw & niacin flush.

my husband hates country music and crowds. but friday night when we were presented with the opportunity to go to tim mcgraw for free an hour before the concert started, he didn't hesitate to say "let's go!" because he knew how much i would love it. we went straight from hire's and only had a yoga mat to sit on, no blanket. the two of us had so much fun together, me jamming out to tim, him making fun of it, and both of us dancing and people watching the whole time.

saturday morning daws worked while i babysat our nieces and we both came home and worked in the yard together. we then took our dogs to the pond, went shooting with friends, out to dinner, and played games. it was such a fun saturday together!

our nieces! seriously, look how cute they are.

we also snatched this antique sewing table from my in-laws' storage and put some miracle restore oil on it. it's looking great in our pioneer home.

it works so i better learn how to sew...

yesterday, FATHERS' DAY, was awesome! we had dinner at my uncle mike's with my family. my uncle is on this kick for the vitamin niacin. he explained all of the health benefits and had us all take one. everyone had different reactions to it, but those of us who had the less favorable reactions had their skin turn red and itchy and hurt like a sunburn all over your body. it was truly awful, i felt like i was on fire for 20 minutes. my cousins all had a blast watching each other go through torture though!

i've been wood burning lately and this is a little something i made my dad for fun for fathers' day. it's true, my dad is one of the coolest people i know and i am so blessed to be his daughter! it is truly an amazing thing to have a dad who is constantly supporting you and who you know you can turn to for help with ANYTHING! i owe everything i am to him and my mom. i am so grateful to live close to him and to have him for a best friend. he is constantly taking care of us and making life an adventure!

i am also blessed to have such an amazing father-in-law who is also constantly helping and supporting us. he has always truly cared about me and been interested in my life and what's important to me. he wants the best for his family and is a good friend to each of us! and besides that, he raised the man of my dreams.

i am always feeling blessed to have dawson as my husband, but when i think about him being the father of my kids i feel so overwhelmed with gratitude. i wouldn't want my future kiddos to have anyone else as a father, they are going to be extremely lucky! i know he will be amazing when that time comes.

-misses lake

fitness pinspiration.

pinterest pictures like this kill me!!

people post them for inspiration, but the realist in me is screaming YEAH RIGHT! because:

a.) no matter how hard i work out my boobs will never be that big

b.) no matter how hard i work out, my waist will never be that long and pretty

c.) i have scoliosis, and no matter how hard i work out, my body will not be symmetrical

& d.) i'm pretty sure every person in pictures like this are sucking in and flexing anyway.

i think it's good that society is going on a fitness fad, don't get me wrong, but i think it's a little bit skewed. working to be fit so that you can look like a sweaty, toned, sex object shouldn't be the reason women work out. and for me, at least, it doesn't work.

gaining weight after getting married came as a bit of a shock to me at first. i don't know if it came on because i'm no longer playing team sports that give me regular exercise, or if it's because my metabolism has slowed down, or if i just started noticing weight gains because there's now someone else who sees me naked every day! whatever it was, it was with displeasure that i started noticing new rolls and pooches on my figure.

earlier this year, i would feel like a failure when i saw pictures like this, or when i would hear friends talk about their recent cross-fit time, how many miles they ran yesterday, or how they haven't had sugar in a month. probably because i haven't done cross fit in months, i ran one mile this whole week, and i just downed a cookie and four pieces of candy. i would try to set goals like these, and then feel depressed and give up because i just couldn't stay motivated to do it. i didn't realize it at the time, but i was constantly talking myself down and focusing on my body's flaws.

i don't know what made me switch gears, but i started focusing less on how my body looks and more on how it feels. i started choosing workouts i enjoy, such as yoga and riding my bike, versus workouts i didn't enjoy like cross-fit and long distance running. i made an effort to exercise in some way every day, but i haven't let myself get discouraged and down on myself for missing a day. on days that i haven't had motivation, i at least go for a walk with my dogs.

pizza, mac n' cheese, hamburgers, milk, and sugar aren't on my "do not eat" list. i don't even have a "do not eat" list and i never plan on it. however, they are foods that i  have become more conscious about. i thoroughly enjoy eating junk food, but i have become aware that when i eat it all the time, i feel like crap. so i've made an effort to eat these things less, and an effort to incorporate fruits, vegetables, and vitamins into my diet more. i have also been more aware of how much i do eat in one sitting. eating too much makes me feel sick after, and i don't want to feel sick.

i've stopped staring at the mirror in despair. instead of talking down on my body, i've felt so grateful for it, to be able to be active, walk, take care of myself, work, and be independent. each of our bodies are miracles to be grateful for. after some time has gone by, i have realized even with it being far from picture perfect, i am completely happy with the way my body is, realizing there is ALWAYS room for improvement.

i haven't made any drastic changes in my lifestyle, but these small things i've done have helped me have so much more energy and feel better about myself. i'm not saying my small changes are the best way to be healthy, i'm saying it's what has worked best for me. if you have negative feelings about your body, fitness, and health, i think the best thing to do is change is your attitude and perception. be healthy in a way you can enjoy, a way that works for you. and even if you never look like a pinterest picture, your body is amazing, and how it feels is what truly matters.

-misses lake

a year of love & marriage.

well, this is a late post, and i quite frankly suck at keeping up with the blog.

but, my amazing husband and i celebrated our first year anniversary the weekend before last. ONE YEAR! it went by so fast, i can hardly believe it! there is something so special about your first year of marriage and all of the "firsts" you experience as a married couple, and to be honest i'm kind of sad our first year is over. however, i am so excited for the endless times we have ahead of laughs, talks, trials, adventures, and opportunities to experience together! i am seriously so in love with this guy.

i thought i'd post our wedding videos to look back on that incredible day. our videos were done by Stockton LaSalle.

also, some pictures from our weekend getaway in st george!

-misses lake

my husband.

"Life" by Christian D. Larson

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them
to look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble."

since i started dating my husband, this quote hung on his bedroom wall. it wasn't until the week before we got married, when we were in his bedroom packing his things to move into our new home, that i took the time to read it. i told him that this quote is him and he said that this is how he strives to live his life. those of you who know my husband know that he is always happy. he always is smiling and joking around. and besides that, he is such a hard worker. he is always working so hard to have the best for himself and our family, and also to serve other people. he knows his shortcomings, but is confident in himself. he has a way of making those around him feel good and happy. he is a very faithful person and his outlook and attitude about life is something i strive for. this quote now sits on our desk in our home and sometimes i take a few minutes to think about how i can implement these attributes into my own life.

my husband thinks today is just another day, but it isn't. it is the day that my best friend and the best person i know was born. i'm so grateful he came into my life, bringing with him so much light and happiness. happy birthday daws!

-misses lake

unfiltered.

most girls don't post pictures of themselves looking like a hobo on instagram, but i like to think i'm not the only girl who looks like a hobo on occasion. we don't post our burnt dinners or messy homes or blog about the fight we had with our husbands the night before. no one sees the chew marks in my furniture on my social media, only the cute faces of my dogs. we post filtered, put-together, half-versions of our lives on the internet while simultaneously monitoring these versions of others' lives.

while all these nice looking, happy experiences are wonderful, they don't add depth to our lives unless paired with adversity and tribulation. we are quick to share hand-made crafts and home cooked meals but it's difficult to make our mistakes and mess-ups public. further, we don't enjoy talking about our let downs, heartbreaks, and curve balls.

but our shortcomings, mistakes, disappointments, hurting, and stretching are beautiful experiences that can make us beautiful people. as mister lake and i come closer to our one year mark of being married i can't help but think about all the ways we have struggled, as individuals, as a couple, and with our families and close friends. struggling together has brought us closer and closer together. i'm so grateful to have someone by my side every night as i pray for strength for myself and for those i love. i'm grateful i married someone who simply laughs when i cry and yell over ridiculous things, and who loves the full, unfiltered version of me, with all my messes and imperfections.

-misses lake

budget board

i mean money grows on trees and all, but i thought we'd try this out.

one adjustment to getting married is a fresh pile of monthly bills, two people's incomes (or lack thereof due to being college students), two people's needs and wants. it's difficult to be organized with money but i thought this would be a good idea to lay it all out every month. we'll see how it goes!

-misses lake

5.26.12. the lovebirds.

 

something old: my maternal grandmother's pearl necklace and my late paternal grandmother's pearl earrings.

something new: my wedding dress we bought on ksl (new to me at least!) i blogged about that here exactly one year ago today.

something borrowed: my sister's veil she wore the day of her wedding.

something blue: my converse shoes.

i got my luncheon dress at tj maxx for $20 and my good friend madison beyers did my hair and makeup.

the one thing dawson cared about choosing was what HE wore. he got his suit from nordstrom rack and his tie from tie one on. his shoes are 1970 restored allen edmond's given to him by his dad.

-misses lake